Being congruent leads to freedom and less anxiety. We all want to see the real you.

I remember studying at the university and we had a group assignment. We were talking about congruency, being authentic and genuine when dealing with clients. And how you have to have your own shit together when you counsel people, so you don’t get triggered by their stories. The word congruent was a word I loved, not only because I seldom used it in Swedish or English. I now love the meaning of being congruent.

Being congruent means you are being what you say, doing what you say and saying what you mean to people, especially with clients you counsel-simply speaking the way you think and feel should also be the way you behave. It’s vital that your client feels safe in your presence because they are going to open up to you, and they will trust you with their heart and some secrets that they might have never told anyone else before.

With congruency comes authenticity, which most people lack these days; people are afraid of being themselves and letting others see their true selves. But as counselors or therapists, if we want to be congruent with our friends, family, or clients, then we need to be authentic ourselves, which means having no shame in letting people see who we really are, even if it means feeling vulnerable at times because that’s just part of the process of getting to know someone else better. There is no shame in being yourself!